GAY STREET

Since I've started caring, I have made it a hobby to read and be aware of dumb-asses out there. Luckily, myself and many other gay men and women live comfortably in Chicago. I've heard of people who were born in Chicago and are not even aware that they live in the state of Illinois. Come to think of it, I've lived in Chicago for 6.5 years and I've only been to other parts of Illinois a handful of times. And only one of those times, I had a destination that was actually in the state.

I was reading the Chicago Free Press and saw this. Among all of the gay articles in this paper, this one perplexed me the most -- The residents of Gay Rd. in a town just outside of Peoria petitioned to get the name of their street changed. The street was named after honored 17th century explorer Picard du Gay. Gay street was in reference to someone's fricken name.

The one small light of this issue is the alderman of that district and at least one resident was against the change. All in all, how fucking sad and stupid is this? Living in a large city can really put you out of touch with how infantile much of the U.S. is. I think many forget that is was not too long ago where women were not allowed to vote. It was not too long ago that "Nigger" didn't mean much.

Stupidity like this really challenges me in regard to being compassionate that people only act as they know. FUCKERS!!

You can read this article by clicking on this.

The Marquette Heights City Council voted 4-1 Jan. 24 to change the name of Gay Road to Hennepin Road.
Officials in the Peoria suburb said seven residents of the nine-household road petitioned for the change, saying they were subjected to harassment because of the road's name.
Other residents opposed the change, citing the historic nature of the name. The road was named for Picard du Gay, a 17th century explorer who lived in the area.
"I think it's a sad social commentary on the public nowadays, that they would go ahead and take away the honor that was given to an explorer from the 17th century just because his name was Gay," Gay Road resident Danny Wolf told the Pekin Times. "I have friends named Gay. I don't make fun of their name. ...It was never an issue in the past, but for some reason it is now."
Ald. Susan Hoover voted against the name change, saying, "Marquette Heights should stand up for, and be proud of, the name."

YAY FOR GAY!!

OK... though I've resisted for the past however many years it's been, I have started watching American Idol. It's truly a study in psychology... but when the one or two meek, unknowingly-they're-talented contestant belts out something great, it's refreshing. If you want to see an example of a flaw in the human gene pool, go www.americanidol.com and under the video clips, see Anna Roach... Crazy I tell you... crazy.

In short, I've had very confrontational discussions with different members of my family regarding my gayness... my unapologetic faggotry... my lip gloss. Anyway, they have known for 9 years and in the last year, I was given an ultimatem... I was told I have decide what kind of "lifestyle" I'd live and then they would determine how it would fit into the family. Now, I love my family... crazy love them -- I excused their denial but that comment really pissed me off. All of the pain and sadness I've failed to recognize in my life turned to anger and I turned that anger on them. In so many words, I told them to fuck themselves... this is NOT how good southern boys are taught to speak to their parents. I layed it out for them. I smeared every example of how their primative attitudes has degraded me and chipped away at my self-esteem. They will need to chew on that for a while but quite frankly... as much as I love them, I'm done. If I can't exist as myself to have a relationship with them, I'm ready to walk away. They have a choice to change their attitude, I don't have a choice in changing my sexuality... Besides, I love gay.

Strangely, this was not an earth shattering event, I think I was just so fed up, it became so as matter of fact. Have a great day and watch American Idol San Fran tonight!!

FM

FEBRUARY BLOG

Wow! Can anyone believe that it's February, already??! Crazy I tell you... crazy.

My prostitities has cleared up... enough about that.

I've had a pit in my stomach all day and for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Hmmm... I need a vacation... I want to go see a movie... layin' off the simple sugars.

PELVIC HELL 2

Hello All You Pre-Ops.... Well, this is entry number two concerning my pelvic issues. Last Friday was about day 4 of feeling something was not right and on that day, I was nearing total irritation... my boss gave me a smug attitude toward me leaving work to go to the doctor... and stupid me let her reaction get to me and I cancelled my appointment. Then next morning, which was Saturday, I was feeling really bad and I was able to get into the doctor... I think he was a gay Dr. because after explaining that I felt like I had a bowling ball up my ass, he said..."Have you even had a history of prostate infection?" And I said "Why YES Dr... I have." He said "are you in a monogamous relationship." And I said "Why YES Dr... are you asking me out on a date?" And he said "No, I just wanted to bend you over and stick my finger in your ass." And I said "uuhh... no... ummm" Before I knew it, my pants were at my ankles and his finger was up my ass. As he was mashing on my prostate, he asked "does this hurt?" And I said "YYYYEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!" The coversation really didn't go that way but you get the idea. Based on the symptoms, he said that it was a prostate infection. The last one I had, however, was not nearly as bad as this one. I had a secondary cystitis infection, which is mostly common in women. Men out there... let me just say, if you are straight or have female friends and they complain about cystitis, don't you dare give them a hard time about it. It is hell on earth. Imagine the worst imaginable burning, stinging, itching sensation down your pee hole. The tip of your penis get's really red... (and no, it was not VD). By Sunday, I had 4 lymph nodes in my pelvis that were swollen and very painful. By Monday, I was bed ridden... pain, misery, antibiotics, Oh God!! take me please!!! I couldn't determine what was worse, the pain or daytime TV. CIPRO to the recue!! Yeeee Haawww!!

Thankfully, yesterday was better and today, I'm about 85% back to normal... I'll be on anti-biotics for the next 5 weeks and I wish this hell on nobody. I haven't had sex in over a week!!!

FM

PELVIC HELL

Hello Fuckers... I'm a bit in the dumps today. It seems that I'm developing a urinary tract infection... um... and... NO! It isn't what you are thinking about now. For reasons not worth getting into - I've had a sporadic history of some type of urinary tract infection. It fucking SUCKS. This is what I dread... your doctor will ask you, "are you sexually active?" and the response is "ohhh yyeeeaahhhhh." When the doctors learns that you participate in male-on-male relations, their eyebrow raises, they sit up straight, and say "we're gonna do a few tests." Next thing ya know, you have a 9 inch Q-Tip down your pecker... AAAHHHHHHHH!!! FFFUUCCCKK!!!!!!! Not only is this degrading, it is extremely unpleasant. Then, the doctor starts lecturing you and by the time you leave the office, you have been convinced that you have all the STDs. And every time, the tests come out negative and there is another week that you have to go in pain because the son of a bitch didn't treat you for what you REALLY have.

The last two UT infections I've had is prostititis... which is a bitchy little infection to have. Prostititis symptoms are like VD in some ways but, I just don't want the whole shit done and then have to pay $300 in the end. Plus, I'm in a monogamous relationship... and though I know that does not always mean anything, I'm confident that everything is kosher. Plus, I've had this before and I've learned the specific symptoms. JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN PILLS!!

Besides my pelvic troubles, I reached the conclusion that I'm sick of having shit to survive. I want just like 4 months of just boring-assed life. I'm tired of parents being assholes about me having gay. I'm too old to have to defend myself... either invite me home for the holidays or shut the fuck up!

I watched 20 seconds of the inaguration last night before I just felt this wave of pissed-ness. Why can I not get past $40-fucking-million dollars. I realize aristicrats do aristicratic things but that's too much money to spend on a party when there are people out there who can't afford medicine, who can't afford to eat... Here in Chicago, people are freezing to death because they can't afford to pay their heating bill. There are people in our own country to live in third-world conditions. We have hundreds of thousands of qualified, educated professionals who can't get a decent job. Some people have NO concept of what it is like to struggle. I guess $20-million couldn't swing it. And in my opinion, he doesn't deserve an inaguration... he has his war to be proud of. For a more "passionate" opinion on the inaguration, read what Helen thinks.

???

I want to blog today, but I have no fricken idea what to write. No FRICKEN idea. I'm blocked (mentally). Perhaps, during the last year of my life (the shittiest ever), I've desensatized myself to a lot... under stimulated... Well, I'm sick of it. I want to eat cake and frollick with all the other yearlings. I want to watch Eight Is Enough until I cry my eyes out. Terms Of Endearment has nothing on the Nicholas losing his important little league game. Wasn't Mary irritating?... what a lesbian.

I wish I could have like a week off with no guilt. I have not had stress-free time off in so FRICKEN long. Jesus FRICKEN "H" Jip!! Mom TOLD me what would happen if I became a fag... SHE TOLD ME...

Now, I'm thinkin' to myself this muthuh fuckuh ain't got a care in the world... but who knows... maybe he don't.

REPENTA AMERICA... REPENT!!

I was doing my sweep of gay news sights and I read an article about these Christian Evangelists who got arrested during a protest in Philidelphia. They were arrested after causing a riot at Outfest in Philidelphia, PA. (Not quite sure of the date). In a nutshell, the gays were having a celebration in a public park and there was a stage involved. During the event, these Christians began a protest using vulgar signs and a bullhorns, shouting about hell and "die faggots." As a result, a series of altercations between the two sides caused a riot.

A group called Repent America led the protest and their front man is Michael Marcavage. Repent America is sponsored by the more well-known American Family Association (AFA). I visited the websit for both of these organizations and essentially, they are your typical brand of ignorant, self-righteous, crazy people who hate in the name of Christ. And boy do they know how to whine like a bitch when they are accused of breaking the law. The fag haters, of course, are making appeals on First Amendment pricipals. Marcavage make a statement to the press that he feel Christianity is becoming illegal and "... Speaking the Gospel in a public square is a crime." They weren't actually charged based on free speech; they are charged on ethnic intimidation, criminal conspiracy, and initiating a riot. Four of the protesters including Marcavage could face up to 47 years in prison if found guilty.

OK... this is the part where I become non-objective. It sickens me when people make excuses for their hate crimes in the name of God. When have you ever really read about a fag who picks off a church congregation. When has GLAAD ever sponsored a hanging? These fundamentalist groups are a real piece of work aren't they? Repent America's Mission Statement is:

"To sorrow or be pained for sin, as a violation of God's holy law, a dishonor, to His Character and government, and the fouleset ingratitude to a Being of infinite benevolence."

Now, maybe I'm missing it but I don't see Christ's love in this at all. Even the main page of their website is a bit daunting... under the statement of their mission is two choices to enter the site. One says "Christians Enter HERE" and the other says "All Other's Enter HERE." How fucking childish is that?? I picture a prissy, bitchy 5 year old girl stomping around poochie-mouthed saying "You're not allowed... no boys allowed." If you choose where the Christians are allowed to go, you read article after article on how the world persecutes them an and of their succes of some sort of faggot killin' or nigger hangin'. And the part of the site created for the non-holy is what you probably imagine it to be. I don't know whether to be sick or to laugh.

Wouldn't it suck if you were one of these guys... You dedicate your life to hating faggots only to be raped by one in prison. All I have to say is this... I am a Christian and I know that Jesus tells us (in the story of Mary Magdeline and the Merchant) that the over-righteous man is less deserving than the immoral man to inherit the Kindom of God. I love how these mouth-breathers sin to fight sin.